Obviously I've left making my costume off until the last minute. Will I finish it? Will I still be sewing it when Becca gets here for pizza on Monday? Will I have to get Becca to sew me into it? WHO KNOWS? THE ANTICIPATION IS KILLING ME.

Oh geez, I started this because I was going to talk about how awesome my life is but then Meeko came over and sat on me and I can't think when I have a cat in my lap. And now I have lost my entire train of thought. There was something in there about being a fucking rockstar and how I'm thrilled I've gained weight.

I really think this cat has brain sucking powers or something.

I really should go to bed, but it is raining and I am so happy we are finally getting rain that I'm trying to stay up to listen to it. Too bad the rain's too late to save the camellia. Damn thing officially kicked it a few days ago.

We stuck a scarecrow right outside my window, and now I get scared every time I open my curtains because I keep forgetting it's there.

And there goes the last of the rain. I think it's done for the night. It was so nice to have a good downpour.

So I never realized until about two years ago how lucky I am.

I've always been inclined toward "girl" things. My favorite color has been pink for as long as I can remember. I love stuffed animals. I wanted to be a ballerina once upon a time. I played dress up, wearing princess outfits and ballerina tutus.

I also had a younger brother, and we were really super close growing up. Because of this, we shared a lot of interests. We took karate together, we swapped action figures. I remember one day when I was about eleven or twelve that we spent literally climbing through a giant mud pile behind our house for fun.

And my mom and dad were always cool with that.

They supported me when I wanted to take ballet. They supported me when I wanted to take karate. They bought me stuffed animals and cars. As long as I wanted to, my mom would doll me up in frilly dresses and with fancy hair. But if I didn't, then she would go let me wade through a mud pile. I've had more skinned knees than I can count. And I totally kicked ass in my karate class.

No matter what I've wanted to do, I've had my parents' support. They never cared when I wanted to play with action figures instead of dolls. They never told me I was being stupid or predictable for wanting a fluffy pink room. If it was within their means, I wanted it, then I got it. Not just the girl things. Not just the boy things. All the things. A costume chest full of sparkly dresses, but also containing a Batman cape. A room full of stuffed animals and My Little Pony, but also with action figures and cars and K'nex and Legos.

And the thought of it honestly makes me cry because I thought all parents were like this. And over the last few years, I've realized they aren't. They tell their kids they can't do this or that. Because you're a girl. Because you're a boy. Because that isn't constructive. Because you won't learn from it. Because it's pointless. But my parents always let me explore my interests and desires no matter what direction that took me. Even when it meant I spent a year studying serial killers. Even when it meant I practiced my screechy violin for two hours a day and had to have no sound in the house during that time.

And I saw a post on tumblr earlier today that reminded me that not all parents are like that. That some parents won't let their kids do and feel and explore. But my parents did and I am so fucking lucky for that.

I don't really know what the point of this post is, but it's just my feelings. And I wanted to share.

Three separate comments to three separate entries while talking to three separate people who don't even know each other, but they all summarise my recent thought process quite well. I'm sorry I haven't really had any substantive updates lately. All I do is school work and converse with my cats and I'm not sure if you guys are really that interested in that.

Comment the first:

(on sex)

"I'm not waiting for someone special. Yeah, I'd love it if my first time was all candles and rose petals but most likely it's just going to be this kind of uncoordinated thing. I'm not a virgin because I'm waiting for marriage or because I'm waiting for The One. I'm a virgin because the only time sex has come up has been when the person I was with did not want to use a condom! I'm sorry, but I don't want to get pregnant. I don't even like kids. So unless you're going to slap a rubber on, my legs are fucking crossed.

Nowadays, everyone is just so blase about sex and I'd like to think I've got a modern mindset about it. But you know, I'm informed. It just takes once and I'm not going to push my luck. It doesn't mean I don't have a sex drive. And until I do find someone that I want to have sex with who will put a condom on for me, I'll satisfy my own needs thank you very much."


Comment the second:

(on Facebook)

"Honestly, I'm seriously considering just no longer getting on Facebook. I unfriended a bunch of people who did a similar thing to me as what happened between you and your (ex)friends. And now they are all starting to friend me back saying, "I've been thinking about. I've been meaning to call." Many of them live within five minutes of me--walking. And yet they haven't contacted me in 2.5 years. I'm sick of constantly having to hit ignore. Even that is too much energy, considering what/how little they've put towards me. And now they all want to connect.

I have three friends that are Facebook only friends because they do not have accounts elsewhere. They are the only reason I have yet to flat out delete my account. So I think I'll change my privacy settings, alter my other accounts so they don't update Facebook, and mostly call it quits. Other than those three, everyone else is on LJ or Tumblr. Those friends are the ones I talk to; the ones that have been there for me when I've needed someone. Not all of these people who have "been thinking about" me."

[Yes, this means that I will no longer be sending my Twitter and Tumblr updates there. If you'd like, you can follow me there, and if there is something especially thought-provoking from either, I'll try to post it here. For the most part however, those two are mostly mindless though.)


Comment the third:

(on why I love Texas, mostly Houston. Sorry for the caps. It's what I default to for OOC stuff in my RP)

"YEP :D A QUARTER OF THE 20 LARGEST CITIES IN THE US BY POPULATION ARE IN TEXAS. WE REPRESENT WHAT IT MEANS TO LIVE IN THE SOUTH, BUT WE'RE NOT WHOLLY ENCASED IN THE ACTUAL LIFESTYLE. IF I HAD THE FINANCIAL MEANS, I COULD SEE A DIFFERENT MUSICAL/THEATRE PERFORMANCE EACH NIGHT BUT I STILL KNOW PEOPLE WHO LIVE ON FARMS AND RAISE ANIMALS TO FEED THEMSELVES. I CAN HOP ON THE HIGHWAY AND VISIT VINTAGE SHOPS OR A GIANT MALL, GO TO A PRIDE PARADE WITHOUT GETTING CURSED AT, AND HAVE TEN STARBUCKS WITHIN REASONABLE DRIVING DISTANCE BUT OUR BIGGEST EVENT IS STILL THE RODEO. I LOVE IT HERE."

Apologies for the lack of updates, folks. Life has caught up and has decided to just grab me and drag me by the heels. The mess and confusion that lies in Life's wake as I scuttle to stay in line with it is quite glittery, much as I'd imagine those Sparkly Vampires to be.

For those of you out of the Facebook loop, on Independence Day I got into a car wreck while driving Mom's car. I owe her a new one (More specifically, another car. She doesn't seem to care if it's used.). Money will be tight for a while but I'll get by. There's a very nice Corolla I saw the other day and I'm leaning towards that.

She finally found a full-time job so I've taken over her work at the college on Tuesday and Thursday mornings. I have to be there by 7:30 so I'm really kind of hating that. Plus, it's freezing in the building and right now I'm wearing a thin summer dress and totally regretting passing up those nice thick jeans in my drawer. I picked up some hot tea downstairs though so that's kind of helping.

Now on to the important stuff.

Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince tonight.

I really want a shirt that says, "I'm the Half-Blood Prince" on it. I wish I had more time. I'd print a bunch and sell them at the door of the theatre. I'm sure they'd sell like crazy.

As it is, the Beauteous Beth and I shall be wearing our Snape shirts. Although I am kind of torn because I wanted to buy the new Bellatrix shirt I saw at Hot Topic. But whatever. I'm going to buy a car instead. _{Although I am kind of bummed that I can't keep the car for myself.} I have no idea what Rob will be wearing but I wish we could find some way to make him match us. I feel like Beth and I are Harry Potter super-dorks and he's just some guy that enjoys them. Idk. Maybe my impression is wrong?

It's so weird to think that the books are over. J.K. has added to the apocrypha a bit by writing Tales of Beedle the Bard but it honestly just did not have the same significance the rest of the books did.

And I feel like I'm being pulled in a million directions fandom-wise. Harry Potter was one of the first things that I ever fangirled over hard. I think the next thing after that was Fullmetal Alchemist, and they've recently rebooted that franchise. I've only seen the first episode of the new series, but I loved it and I definitely want to see more. Add into that how heavily I've gotten into Star Trek and comics lately and... Well, I just feel overwhelmed with all of the information there is to take in right now. I feel like I need to take a vacation from life just to stay caught up in everything that is happening everywhere. I never even knew that an advanced preview of Half-Blood Prince was going to happen until just two hours before that was supposed to start. I completely forgot about Blackest Night even though I've been wanting to pick that up. I've barely touched the st_xi_kink even though I'm supposed to be helping to archive that bad boy. OH GAWD AND THEN THERE'S LOLITA AND I STILL NEED TO GET CAUGHT UP ON FMA.

How is it that I let my hobbies become like chores? I'm trying to reorder things in my mental hierarchy. I just tend to get very over-excited about things easily. I just need to cut back. Once school starts I won't be able to stay up until 2 or 3 in the morning squealing over whatever the heck is going on online, despite the fact that the internet is serious business (oh my gawd).

I need to make an appointment to get another tetanus shot. I keep cutting myself open at work. But it's hard because right now my mom gets first dibs on my truck until I buy her a new car, so I'm stuck up a river with no paddle. :[

AND OH GAWD I JUST DROPPED MUFFIN CRUMBS DOWN MY DRESS. D: I fail at life so hard sometimes.

And now I can't remember what else I wanted to say, so I guess I'll update this whenever my head stops spinning.

Love love love love all of you guys so much ♥

(not really)



Ugh. Okay. So Mom lost her job. She got laid off because the company that hired her merged with another, larger company and the larger company's guys got to call all of the shots and didn't want to work students. She had that job for a week.

Party City is cutting hours and getting really fucked up. This from the girl who once said she would do her job for free if she could afford to. I'm working on my resume and aiming for an office job with nicer pay.

I got a new phone~ It's a Samsung 'Propel' and the number's still the same: 281.785.3458

Meet up on Sunday.....I'm sooo excited.

Also: I have the best friends EVER. Cindy and Sarah got me a rad gift. I'd post pictures, but something's wrong with my camera. :[ All you really need to know about it though is that it was AWESOME and I would have cried after receiving it if I had been born with tear ducts.

UMMMMM......WINDEX COMMERCIALS ARE HILARIOUS.

I think I need to get my act together. Lately all I do is sit and play neopets. Anyone else on there? I'm poem_gal7. If you have less stuff on your account than I do, I'll try to help you out. But no promises because I just started back up a month ago.

I get to go to Ikea on Sunday to shop for apartment stuff~ I feel so grown up! *is lame* XD

Valentine's Day.....ugh. I really let myself go and had a bunch of sweets and junk food and now I feel like crap. But it was yummy while it lasted. :3

One of my friends is getting married, and hearing about her wedding stuff makes me want to go out and find some guy to marry. XD

In semi-related news, I got asked out by a lesbian this weekend. Apparently I give out "lesbian-vibes" or something, since she thought I was sweet on her. I felt bad rebuffing her advances, but it was flattering nonetheless. I mean, it's good to know that at least someone still finds me attractive.

Lauren and I have been hanging out a lot lately. She got some really cute shoes from her boyfriend for Valentine's Day. They have cupcakes on them! How awesome is that?



UGH OKAY I'M GOING TO BED NOW BECAUSE I HAVE CLASSES IN THE MORNING.