23 November 2011 @ 05:03 pm
1. Woke up feeling refreshed.
2. Made coffee and waffles.
3. Cuddled with cat.
4. Played with cat.
5. Got dressed and went to work.
6. Watched Classic Who.
7. Started feeling sick.
8. Ate lunch.
9. Felt better.
10. Made a spreadsheet to keep track of my Neopets gallery.
11. DANCE PARTY at my desk.
Current Mood: blah
(aka Stuff Megan Thinks About Every Time She Works Nowadays)

Today I woke up and I did not want to get out of bed to go to work. I thought that the whole time I was eating breakfast and getting dressed. I don't want to go to work. I thought while I looked at my cat running around. I wanted to play with him. I did not want to go to work.

Hell, I never want to go to work. I'm quite lazy. I like lying in bed and sitting on my ass. Just flopping around all day. I never want to go to work. Because even though I can browse the internet and stuff my face, I still have to look presentable. And you know. Sometimes I have to work at work.

The other day I had a dream. A nightmare. I went back to Party City. I had put on my khakis and black t-shirt and plastic name tag with the faded letters and I had gone back to Party City to work for Halloween. I worked every day. With Emily. With Dustin. With DJ. I was given vague directions and then left to do all the things. My cashier's tills were all off. The deposit was wrong. The computer was malfunctioning. The power went out and the registers had to be rebooted several times before they would work. The ad prices hadn't been uploaded properly so nothing on sale was scanning at the right price. The store was packed and all the registers were in use. I had one stocker. Costumes were getting stolen, children were peeing in the aisles, babies were screaming. The toilet broke. We ran out of helium. All the balloon orders were wrong.

I felt so much self-loathing because I had gone back There. And I hated myself for it because I was miserable.

And then I woke up.

So many people didn't seem to understand why I quit Party City. Everyone hates their job, they said. The number of people who actually love what they do is incredibly low. The hours are good and the pay is decent, so you'd be stupid to leave.

And yeah, that's probably true. But most people don't hate themselves for working where they do. And I hated myself for working at Party City.

So I left. I quit. And I felt so much fucking relief. Even when I had no job and couldn't find one and had no money at all, I was still relieved. Because I didn't work there.

And yeah, I don't ever want to go to work. And I hate having to leave my cats at home while I'm here. I hate that I have to remind myself that I can't look at porn and that I have to unfollow all of my NSFW blogs on tumblr and that I can't download anything and that I can't personalize my browser the way I'd like.

But you know? I'm here. I'm here and I don't want to be, but I don't hate myself for being here. And it feels fucking awesome.
20 September 2011 @ 08:58 pm
Woke up in a ridiculously good mood today and it has persisted like whoa. Told Bernard he needed to try really hard today to become an armadillo. So far he is still a cat. Got my shopping done before lunch and was super thrilled that the toilet paper was on sale. Yes, this is my life. I also bought a ~fig tree~ and idk what the hell I am going to do with figs but it is cool so whatevs.

I've been watching Make It Or Break It almost nonstop since I heard about it getting renewed for another season. Watching all the episodes basically back to back and knowing everything that's revealed about the characters later on, I'm picking up on a lot of things that seemed inconsequential when watching the first time.

Blah blah blah let's see what has been going on...

Made this but with bacon for Rob the other night. It was delicious, but I think the sweet potato I used was way too giant because it made enough for eight burritos. I would have liked a smaller sweet potato to green pepper/onion ratio. I've also made cream soda and ice cream recently. Now that the weather's getting cooler I'm thinking of trying chicken pot pie bites. I remember that Hot Pockets used to sell mini pot pies and I loved them and really miss the convenience of a hand-held meat pie combined with the awesomeness that is chicken pot pie.

I really do think my good mood is due to the fact that they've increased my hours at work. It feels so awesome to be able to buy groceries whenever I want. Plus, I'm not working at Party City this year so I can stay home on Halloween and give out candy.

I've also been having a lot of fun at [livejournal.com profile] hogwarts_elite and with the Hufflepuffs over there. Everyone seems really nice, and there are a lot of really fun things going on over there.

Aaaand I think that's pretty much it. Finally got my [livejournal.com profile] startrekbigbang match up emails today and I am super excited for this year.
Current Mood: happy
The last two nights, I had some...strangely terrifying dreams. The first involved me forgetting I had to go to work, only to realize it an hour after the building would have closed. Also I had some start-smoking paraphernalia aimed at children in the back of my truck for some reason. And my dad was there and my brother was suddenly seven again.

But the dream I had last night tops that one in the weirdness department.

Now then, for those of you who are new and don't know me that well...I dislike children. A lot. And I currently have no desire to ever have children. That may change. But for now that is how it stands.

This one was rather long. )

The only thing that has me thinking these dreams are related is the fact that I've just opened a new carton of ice cream. It's a new flavor I've never tried before, and I had a bowl of it before going to bed the last two nights. I'm thinking maybe I need to just eat this ice cream earlier in the day. Or you know. Maybe the ice cream and weird dreams are unrelated. Idk.

In other news, I want to comment on people's journals more often. Usually I read y'alls entries and then just don't comment and I think that's a rather lazy approach to friendship. Obviously you are sharing your lives with me because you want us to connect. And it's working one way, just failing on my end. So hopefully, I'll start commenting more.

The paperwork for my August paychecks was misplaced and it took a while to sort that out. I've only just received the check yesterday and I am so grateful it came when it did. It was starting to look like I was going to be living off of dry, stale cereal and freezer waffles and whatever granola bars I could steal from work. I'm a little miffed, but not as much as I thought I'd be. Once I realized there was a problem (Tuesday), I called my boss up and she fired off an e-mail that same day. I worked the next day, and her supervisor was there and told me it had already been sorted and that my first check had already been cut (I get paid by three different departments and my total pay is split between three different checks) and sent off to the next person in line. I got home from work yesterday, and my checks were waiting in the mailbox for me. I received all the pay due from August, and they had rushed processing my pay for Monday (the 5th) so that I would get that early, rather than having to wait for the paper work from the rest of this week to go through. So now I can take advantage of this week's awesome sales at the grocery store (buy one get one free ice cream, and $2 off my favorite brand of toilet paper ftw). I was seriously more angry that I might miss those sales than I was about my check being so late, lol.

I think I am going to order celebratory Chinese tomorrow.
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Current Mood: giddy
28 August 2011 @ 02:47 pm
At work, eating healthy:

Also eating like a grown up, as I'm sure you can all see evidenced by my Spider-Man gummies.

After an hour of pulling out my hair trying to figure out why I can't access the network drive on my computer anymore I finally gave up and have been looking at cheap houses.

No really.

This beauty is less than $40k and adorable and yellow. It also already has my kitchen table in it somehow. But now I want it.

Now I am jamming to BNL and trying to convince myself that Jolly Ranchers aren't a decent lunch and I should eat the little frozen pot pie I brought from home.

All day yesterday was spent squeeing over Doctor Who (no, really. I watched "Let's Kill Hitler" three times) and the day before that I sat at home and cried over Doctor Who videos on youtube. I really need to finish the last few eps of Merlin's season 3 before the new one comes on, but all I can think about right now is how much I love the Doctor and all of his companions.

I've also been reading Marvel movie-verse fic since I finally got around to seeing Captain America with my mom. She hated the ending. She kept whining that it wasn't fair that they were just going to stop it there and that we now had to wait until next year to see Avengers. I reminded her we still haven't seen The Incredible Hulk (somehow, idk how that didn't get watched). So we are going to watch that and then I will have to listen to her whine some more.

Looking for another job~ As if finding this one wasn't hard enough. /forever sobbing

My hamster died last week so there was some sadness and moping but now I am less sad and have resolved to not get any more pets whose MAXIMUM lifespan is less than five years. Because really. I just can't handle death very well.

To end this entry on a less depressing note, I found a way to make obnoxious gifs of myself:

04 August 2011 @ 10:26 am
Here it is~

I was so happy to be able to make a front and back cover for this one. My off-brand version of photoshop isn't totally compatible with Windows 7 so it likes to crash on me. That's not so bad when I'm making a mix for fun and have all the time in the world to finish it, but it proved to be problematic during [livejournal.com profile] classictrekbb since I had a due date that had to be met. That was part of the reason why my posting of those was so erratic. I was super happy to not only be able to be ready in time to post this one, but to also be able to get the usual front and back covers done.

In addition to that wonderfulness, the mix is fifteen tracks long (5 x 3, my two favorite numbers!) and the story the mix is for is absolutely wonderful!

Now I've got to knock out a mix for [livejournal.com profile] brb_gallifrey, as well as the Oracle Create-a-thon/in honor of the Batgirls. I want to do a Harry Potter mix, but I'm kind of stumped for ideas on that one.

In other news, got my truck fixed. The radiator had a crack so it wasn't too much to fix, just needed a new one and to have my truck's liquids replenished.

All this week I have been challenging myself to wear things in ways I normally wouldn't. On Tuesday this was accomplished by wearing a square silk scarf as a headband, and by wearing a vintage dress that is really lovely but difficult for me to style. The only downside was that I forgot that particular dress wrinkles really easily so I was a bit rumpled all day. I also wore flats (I always wear heels to work) but that was mostly because my back was bothering me.

Yesterday I wore my black and white floral cut out dress. It's hard for me to find places to wear it because it's a halter top dress with a low back and high waist. I remedied this by wearing a black tank top under it. I also mixed patterns by wearing a pink and white striped cardigan, and then used a belt to lower my visual waist. Loved it, but it was not a good thing to be wearing when I had to pop the hood of my truck up and fuss under there.

Today I'm mixing black and brown, which is something I really hate. I'm also wearing all neutral colors from the ears down. It's not too bad though because I have some black slingback pumps with brown leopard-print buckles on them. I'm wearing them with a black dress, black pin-striped blazer, and a brown scarf. Mixing patterns again with the stripes on my blazer and circular, paisley-esque pattern on the scarf. I'm also wearing one of my tsumami kanzashi (I think this is the right name? Folded silk flower hair ornament thingy?). Except I did a stupid thing and put the damn thing in and THEN sprayed my head with hair spray, which is supposed to be bad for the silk. Idk, can't change it now.

I've also take to wearing earrings all this week because my holes started to close up and I am way too lazy to get them repierced if that happens.

I'm trying to update this more often. I feel bad not posting things. I'm kind of obsessed with tumblr because of how easy it is to post things there and that's kind of led to me ignoring LJ.
Current Mood: tired
03 August 2011 @ 10:26 am
Today started out brilliantly. Flawless. Woke up in a fab mood, ate breakfast with a cat on my lap while reading Sherlock fic, am wearing my favorite dress with my favorite cardigan and my favorite hair clip.

Halfway to work my truck rapidly overheated, started thumping and jerking, and pitched an old man fit. Pulled into a gas station, called Mom. By the time she got there she was basically useless. Had not thought to bring the coolant from the house with her so we had to buy some from the gas station. I told her to call Chaney because we needed an extra vehicle and she just stood there. Called him myself, told him to meet her there, and then took her truck to work with instructions that she shouldn't try taking the truck to any shop because I didn't think it would make it and that she should have Chaney follow her home (just in case something else happened and she needed someone to make decisions) and then to have him drive her to my work to pick up her truck and that I would find someone to drive me home.

Just got off the phone with her. She is still at the gas station. Apparently she thought it would be a good idea to NOT LISTEN to me and try to drive a car fixing place. I told her the truck wouldn't make it. I didn't even think it would make it home, hence my reason for calling Chaney. She didn't believe me. Luckily she didn't even get out of the parking lot. She called the car shop (it's owned by a family friend) and the guy is on his way to the gas station to look at my truck.

She is freaking out. She doesn't handle stress or sudden changes very well, and I would have stayed with her but I'm the only one working until the afternoon because Janie had a doctor's appointment scheduled for this morning so I had to go in to open the visitor's center up. But I know Chaney isn't going to be any help to her, and now she is crying and I don't think she knows up from down, forget about making decisions about what to do with my truck.

But I'm at work so there's nothing I can do, so I'm not going to bother worrying about it since there is nothing I can do. Nothing I can do.

I told her to have Chaney drive her up to work to get her truck so she can get to and from work today and took her house keys so she wouldn't have a choice. I know some people who could use the money so I'm going to call a friend and see if he can give me a ride to and from work this week until my truck is fixed. If he can't then I'll just have to wait until Chaney or his girlfriend* can pick me up and have Mom drop me off again in the morning. I don't think I'm working anymore this month, so it's no big deal. Just home from work today and then Thursday and Friday. No big deal, I don't have anywhere I needed to go that can't be done around Mom's work hours.

This does kind of ruin my plans for getting a second job though so idk about money anymore. I need a second job because we're having trouble making ends meet, and because my truck is so old (hence all the recent breaking of it) and I need to get something new (or at least, new for me).

Also a bummer to have this happen so close to my birthday (although I wasn't really looking forward to that anyway because of said money trouble).

But I'm really not upset or surprised by this at all since my truck is over ten years old. It's been breaking down more and more frequently over the last year and a half. The only thing I'm really bummed about is that the second job I was going to get was gong to help me save for a new car. And now all of that is up in the air and idk what I'm going to do if my truck is dead.

Blah blah bloop...I've done everything I can and there is nothing else I can do so I ain't even bovvered really in the grand scheme of things.

* Chaney's gf, I'm going to call her S, had a pipe break in her house and flood it so she is staying with us until that gets fixed. Idk, she has nice hair but I'm not too crazy about her.
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01 July 2011 @ 10:11 am
Yesterday was another productive day. Woke up early and watched I Love You Phillip Morris. Made udon for lunch, watered the potted plants, did dishes, sorted my coupons, cleaned the floors, and did the shopping. Didn't get to do laundry like I planned, but that wasn't so bad because I can do that today after work.

Other than that, all is good. Except for this morning. This morning sucked ass.

Had trouble falling asleep last night so I didn't hit a restful sleep until about 2 am. Bernard decided he wanted to play at about 4. Tried ignoring him and when he started clawing on furniture I tried opening my curtains so he could look out, throwing things at him, force cuddles, trapping him under the blanket, telling him he was a shit-face asswipe, and carrying him around. All of the commotion woke Meeko up who decided it was door scratching time. After about an hour and a half of that I finally let the two outside (well, I threw Meeko out. She wanted noms but it was not noms time so I called her a fat ass traitor and told her to get some exercise). Sort of lay in bed until about 6:30 unable to get back to sleep and then finally got up and made coffee and cried many tears of sleepy anger.

Logged onto Neopets to do my dailies and noticed I had several message. I was taking part in a Krawk/Mazzew lend and I had received the pet/petpet in question on Sunday and then sent it on its way on Monday. When I hadn't gotten notification of the next person picking up the transfer by Wednesday, I pulled up the pet's lookup, saw its owner listed as the original lender and assumed the chain had finished out and that I had just accidentally deleted the notification of the completed transfer without realizing it.

Nope. Turns out the person after me never accepted the transfer and that both that person and the original owner had sent me PMs on the 29th and 30th sometime after I had logged off on Wednesday. Since I didn't get on Neo at all yesterday I never saw them. Now it looks like the pet/petpet is stuck and I may have to shell out half the np for the fucking things. There goes all my savings for paintbrushes.

Blah blah bliggity blah. I brought a Nat Geo, HP #1, and a Jughead double digest to read but I'm so tired my eyes hurt. AND I'm craving chocolate chip cookies.

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