The heart is fragile handle with care
Hold it, it's precious
There's treasure in there...

--Rose Falcon, "Breakable"

........A lot has happened this month. I started off in a kind of "meh" way and that basically continued until just a little past half-way through when I met a guy and decided that I wanted to take this amazing dude to prom. I still haven't asked him yet, though... ^.^'

But, back to my original train of thought, getting to know him has been a BLAST. It's literally put me on Cloud 9, no...Cloud 10. Yeah, I was that happy. Then, it all went downhill.

I just got depressed all of a sudden because I'm too scared to ask him out because I don't want to get hurt because the last time I got close to a guy he broke my heart. It's still not fixed all the way, yet. I haven't been the same since September. But I want to be. Nana Komatsu in the graphic novel Nana by Ai Yazawa said that the best way to heal a broken heart was "to fall in love again, of course" or something like that. I want that to be true. I wish I could forget about being screwed over by almost every single guy in my life so that I could move on, but I can't. I'm so sick of getting hurt that it's paralyzed me. I am in an emotionally vegetative state. My life support machines are my friends and my crying and my writing. I can't stop using them because once I'm unplugged, I'll die because I'm brain dead. Most people never recover from a vegetative state or something like that...Why? It's like that saying about falling off a horse and then getting right back on. I'll admit it, I'm a coward; I can't. So what do I do?