I noticed I have yet to post anything this year....problem solved.

Letters to a Stranger
Genre: Prose > Fiction
Dear ____________________,


I want to be your friend. I want to confide in you and I want you to confide in me. I want us to have fun together. I want to be able to look back on these years and see happiness, not strife. I want many things that are not here.

I want to be able to recognize you again. I want to be able to look at you and see you as you were when we were young. I want to glance your way and know who it is I am looking at. But I must face reality. Now when when I look at you I am forced to do a double take. I don't know you anymore. You're like a stranger to me. I don't know what you like, what you hate, what you think--I don't know anything about you at all. I don't know why you dress the way you do, why you like the music that you do, why you act the way you do. I know none of these things. I don't know you anymore; I don't recognize you at all.

I remember when we were young, and all the things we would do together. It seemed as if we would never be apart. You were my first friend--you were my life line. You used to keep me sane, now you're the cause of my insanity. I remember all of the carefree games we used to play. I remember all the fun times we had. I regret now that we have so easily let these precious things slip away. If only they hadn't. Could we have done anything to save it? Could we have stopped time?

I imagine you must feel the same way I do. At least, I hope you do. You must look at me and wonder what happened. You must look at me and question what went wrong and what could have been done to save us and what we once were. I imagine you must be dying to ask me these things. I know because I feel the same way. There are so many things I have to ask you--so many questions I wish you would answer. Why haven't you? Why do my questions fall on deaf ears? Is it because you are afraid? Are you worried that by being the first to answer, you will be betraying some weakness that lies within you? Are you afraid you won't look cool or tough or strong if you answer me? Let me take some of the pressure off you--I'll go first.

My fondest memory is of us playing outside together. You always seemed so strong and I wanted so much to be like you. I hoped--and still do--that one day your strength would somehow rub off on me. You were--and still are, in many ways--my idol, I suppose. I always wanted to be strong like you. I still do. I probably always will.

I dress the way I dress because I like it. I am in no way trying to be cool, I don't care about those kind of things--at least, that's what I keep telling myself. I don't like that I draw attention to myself--I actually hate it. Every time I see someone's head turning my way, I freeze, if just for a moment. But I swallow my fear and I move on. I'm still frightened--there's no doubt about that--but I try to hide it and pretend that I don't actually want to crawl under a rock.

I know you think it's strange, and you probably won't understand, but I like what I like simply because I like it. There is no ulterior motive there and I can offer up no other explanation. It simply is what it is. As for why I think the way I do, I can offer no more an explanation for my thoughts than you can. I think what I think, but I never know why.

As for the two of us, I miss what we used to have. I understand that people change but must we change so much? I would give anything I have now for us to be as we once were. Every cruel word and cold look that passes between us causes a small part of myself to cry. I wish, more than anything in the world, that I could make you happy and that you would accept me as I am and that we could act as we once did. It breaks my heart to think of what has come between us. I wish I knew where I went wrong. I wish I knew how to fix this. I wish we could go back to how we were. There are so many things I wish I could change. I have so much regret when it comes to my relationship with you. I wish I could fix this, but I know I can't. More than anything--I wish I could talk to you again. I think I miss that the most.

Do you think you could repay the favor now? Do you think you can tell me these things? I want to get to know you again. I want to feel we can be as we once were. I don't want you to hate me--I hope you don't.

But I don't think we ever will be like we used to be. You will never say these things because you never open up to me anymore. Why should this time be any different from any other time that I have asked you these questions? You'll never answer; you never have. I wish I knew why.

But I doubt you'll ever tell me. I doubt you'll ever read this. I doubt you'll ever answer back. I'll never send this letter because I'm too scared of what you'll answer.

I wish I weren't.


Love,
xxxxx


Unfortunate Thing. by *Slinkers on deviantART

So there. I posted.