So....the Meta OP tian_shi sent me got here alright....I haven't taken any pictures because I basically feel like crap, but oh well.

Also, my arm itches.....just thought you'd like to know.

AND...I've got a weird head feeling.

I am bored....and tired...and not feeling well. I can't wait for the weekend so that I can take it easy and just relax and be sick without having to worry about school/work.

I feel really guilty because I missed Precalc today...even though I am sick and should be resting anyways! I'm also worried I'm going to end up dropping a lot of weight again, because I've had the constant nausea/dizziness that I had last year when I lost that weight. I'm already very thin--losing a lot of weight isn't good for my already shitty health. I just don't know what to do because I've been eating healthier, taking vitamins, getting more rest, etc. but all that happens is that I still get sick anyways. It's hard to focus on school work and act courteously when something is constantly wrong with me.

What's annoying is that people assume that because I'm sick often, I'm used to feeling like crap and can ignore it. But that's just not true. When you feel bad, you feel bad--end of story, nothing can change it. And constantly feeling bad just makes you feel worse. You wonder constantly what's wrong with you and why are you always the one to be ill all the time. It wears down on your nerves and then people just don't understand when you are less than pleasant. I could be way nicer if I knew that I was going to get better and that this unwell feeling would end eventually. But I don't know that. I don't know when I'm going to stop feeling sick. Last year I was sick for almost a whole semester! And people see me going to school and going to work and going out and just assume that I'm overexagerrating how I really feel. But I'm not. If I stayed home every time I was feeling badly, I would not have graduated; I would not have been in school enough to have been able to do so. If I stayed home whenever I felt sick, I would have even less fun/less of a social life than I do now. I'm young; I want to have fun and hang out with my friends. I don't want to feel like some old lady at the end of her life span.

Most people are really, really good about getting this. Some aren't. And considering the amount of time I've spent with some of them, I would have thought that they would. It actually kind of hurts that they think I'm faking this whole thing, that I'm doing it for attention. Darlings, if I wanted attention, there are about ten thousand other things I could do besides lie around and cry that I can't even sit up without feeling ill. I've got talents and stuff....maybe I don't do it well, but sure as hell could do it loudly enough to get attention. I'm not some attention-obsessed freak who is faking this because I want to feel better about myself. Going back to one of my other points, just because I feel sick all the time doesn't mean that I'm going to get used to it. If anything, it makes it worse because there is little to no time left for me to recover from one illness to another. I just don't get why it's so hard for people to see that I'm sick a lot and that it honestly affects how I feel and that no matter how hard I try, it's always going to affect how I act until I miraculously get better.

I guess what I'm trying to say is, I'M NOT A HYPOCHONDRIAC. I'm not faking it, and because it is real it is going to affect how I feel and act. SO GET OFF YOUR HIGH HORSE AND REALIZE THAT I FEEL LIKE SHIT AND I AM TRYING TO BE AS NICE AS POSSIBLE. You have your own faults too but I don't think that you are playing those faults up just to get attention or using them as an excuse to be a bitch or whatever. They are just things that are wrong with you that you may or may not be able to overcome. I am the same way. AND JUST BECAUSE YOU FEEL GREAT DOESN'T MEAN I DO. I try to take into account when you are sick that it is going to affect how you act, please RETURN THE FAVOR. Also, DO NOT COMPLAIN THAT THE MEDICINE THAT IS WORKING ON YOU MAKES YOU FEEL WEIRD. You just make me feel worse when you do because I can't find anything to make my problems go away...you have.

SO I'M SORRY I'M SICK OFTEN BUT PLEASE UNDERSTAND I AM NOT AS HEALTHY AS YOU STRAPPING YOUNG'UNS. I AM A GRANDMA SO DEAL WITH IT.