(Or, My Week with _samalander/Lauren) (spoiler alert: she's totally awesome)


Once upon a time, Emmy received an email from a friend saying she wanted to visit. Well this was simply unacceptable but Emmy wasn't sure how to turn her down without breaking her heart. So last Wednesday I sadly put my pajamas away and drove to the airport to pick up this bitch:


(The bitch on the right. That bitch on the left is Emmy herself.)



As you can see, in under an hour, we were already sick of each other:



Unfortunately, we were kind of stuck together for a week. So after one very unhappy night during which we absolutely did not eat delicious barbecue or fangirl over The Hunger Games and Doctor Who, we woke up and went for a drive.

(Oh, look. A church.)


I am happy that you have kerosene in stock. I am less happy that you seem to think it is appropriate to use it to cook Jesus. Savior or not, it is inappropriate to cook babies. (I think.)

Then we stumbled upon a mall where I made a real friend (thank god, because Lauren has a face and everyone knows how much I hate faces).


BFFs 4 LIFE

We also looked at some elegant pastries:



Then we went to the Asian market where they were serving up former h_e applicants:


Roasted squib doesn't sound very delicious though... I'd prefer a roasted snake. Probably tastes like calamari.

And then we went home where we certainly did not hang out together and have fun. Nope.

The next day was a bit more successful. Probably because we went to the zoo and could pay attention to the animals and not each other.


Here is a rare Murrlund Prairie Dog.

I also got to meet Matt Smith.


He was really boring. Quite a bit like a statue, actually...

And then we hung out with the rest of the BBC family.



We made some new friends.


Hank (purple) and Frank (pink) are lesbian t-rex lovers. Hank is a party animal and likes to spend his time DANCIN' UP ON YA, but Frank is an intellectual who works in the dino aeronautics field.

And then we saw the new Sherlock Holmes movie which was basically ~boyfriends~ and even Mrs. Watson ships it.

We also went to some parks and Old Town Spring where I proved, once and for all, that I am a mature and responsible adult.



The next day I took her to Pie Town...



...and then took her Whataburger virginity.



And then I repackaged her and hunted down my receipt and returned her for a full refund. Thank god.



In all seriousness, Lauren is complete sweetheart and she makes everything fun--even sitting in terrible parking lot traffic for over a half hour. I was really sad when she had to go and even now I still miss her because even when we were just sitting in the same room not talking because we were on tumblr, her very presence made everything 20% cooler.

I really hope that some time in the near future, we can manage to hang out again. We just need to drag Molly along with us in body (because she was with us in spirit the whole time).

We also made matching Fennec Foxes at BaBW. (Hilariously, she said she wanted a Fennec fox and then the very next day we went to BaBW.)

When she left, she said that her impression of Texas was that there are churches everywhere and that it takes 30 minutes to get anywhere. Which is...basically right. Also, she was under the impression that I didn't know what a coat is ("It's like a really heavy shirt."). But that's okay, she didn't know how big a megachurch was.


...and now I really need to go to bed.

Cross-posted from my dreamwidth. Comment here or there.