May need to get a second job, which would negate the whole point of quitting PC so I wouldn't be working my ass off to the point of illness anymore. Anyone know any single rich old guys about to bite the bullet that wouldn't mind to be married to some eye candy?


Something less negative: Lauren did a Five Words meme. Here are my thoughts on what she gave me.

     Hero
I'm assuming this is because of my ridiculous love for all things superhero. Or perhaps because my manifesto is "be your own superhero." When I get dressed to go out, I consider my clothes to be on par with Batman's cowl. Um, I'm really not sure what else to say about this one.

     Dork
I definitely prefer the word "dork" to either "nerd" or "geek" because, for me at least, it implies a higher level of enthusiasm. I either don't like something, or love it a ridiculous amount. It's like I have an on/off switch instead of the dimmer switch everyone else has. And my interests generally fall into the nerd/geek/dork/however you categorize it. And I really don't mind it, unlike some people. Mutant Dork and proud.

     Music
I was banging on pots and pans before I knew what music was. In elementary school, my favorite part of the school year was the annual music show. In middle school I was introduced to the dangerous drug known as playing the violin. I would practice more than two hours a day. I fucking kissed my violin. I sang in college until my schedule kept me from making choir practice. I have over 200 cds (that's the number I counted to before I gave up) and had to buy a hard drive just for my music. I may not be very good at it, or know much about it, but I love it. And I love it loud. If possible, I turn it up until I can feel it in my bones. Music is beautiful and it is unifying in a way that only art can be. You don't have to speak a particular language to appreciate sound. And everywhere I go, I hear music. Not just the songs stuck in my head, but also in the tinkling of the wind in the leaves and the low slide of vehicles driving at a fast speed. And I FUCKING LOVE IT.

     Loyal
Am I loyal? Idk...I kind of feel like I'm a crappy friend and bad at fandom. And I'm a coward (see below) so doing what loyalty sometimes requires is difficult for me. But it does take me a long time to form attachments to people (or things) so when I do, I always feel really intensely for them.

     Scared
It is little wonder why this word comes to mind when thinking of me. I am scared of everything. The dark, thunder storms, turning out of parking lots. My own mother regularly causes me to jump and scream in fear and all she has to do is walk in a room. I'm also scared of non-tangible things like ~the future~. Sometimes my fears are just a slight anxiety, the briefest of worries. Other times, they are paralyzing and destructive. But they are always there and they shape how I live my life.

Comment if you want words ♥