Great Detail Challenge Meme
Day 23 – Something that makes you feel better, in great detail

Handfuls. Bowlfuls. Little bits picked out moment by moment. I never sit on the couch and go through a bag of cookies or a pint of ice cream in one sitting. Instead, I do it in little "trips." First a bowl of ice cream. Then a cookie. Then two pieces of candy (one for each hand). And then another cookie. I fill a bowl with Teddy Grahams.

Then another. Then another.

It's not healthy and it makes me hate myself even more than when I started, but while it's in my mouth, I feel better. It's not an eating disorder. It's not anorexia. It's not bulimia. Technically--medically--there's nothing wrong with me. Nothing wrong, but I'm still fighting to fix it. I do well.

I do real well.

I go for several months without bending. I find other ways to cope. I chew on pens. Start biting my nails again. I chew gum. Chew my lip until it bleeds. I rip paper. I crochet. I get online and join others' as we sit and snark and bitch. I buy things.

But it keeps rising, keeps building. I push it back.

I go days, months, weeks, just over a year. And then something snags and I'm lying there crying and nothing else has worked. And I get up and walk, crying, to the kitchen and put a graham cracker in my mouth.

God, that tastes good.

And for a moment, with the weight of the cracker in my mouth and the taste of it on my tongue and the feel of it just as I swallow, I feel better.


_{Day 01 – Introduce yourself
Day 02 – Your first love, in great detail
Day 03 – Your parents, in great detail
Day 04 – What you ate today, in great detail
Day 05 – Your definition of love, in great detail
Day 06 – Your day, in great detail (part one) | (part two)
Day 07 – Your best friend, in great detail
Day 08 – A moment, in great detail
Day 09 – Your beliefs, in great detail
Day 10 – What you wore today, in great detail
Day 11 – Your siblings, in great detail
Day 12 – What’s in your bag, in great detail
Day 13 – This week, in great detail
Day 14 – What you wore today, in great detail
Day 15 – Your dreams, in great detail
Day 16 – Your first kiss, in great detail
Day 17 – Your favorite memory, in great detail
Day 18 – Your favorite birthday, in great detail
Day 19 – Something you regret, in great detail
Day 20 – This month, in great detail
Day 21 – Another moment, in great detail
Day 22 – Something that upsets you, in great detail
Day 24 – Something that makes you cry, in great detail
Day 25 – A first, in great detail
Day 26 – Your fears, in great detail
Day 27 – Your favorite place, in great detail
Day 28 – Something that you miss, in great detail
Day 29 – Your aspirations, in great detail
Day 30 – One last moment, in great detail}