I believe that something--someone--divine and powerful created the Universe we live in. I believe that s/he put whatever energy was required to initiate growth in, and then s/he stepped back. And watched. And s/he is still watching today.

The one thing that always bothered me when I went to church (which was totally of my own volition as my mother wanted my spiritual journey to be, well...my own) was that they claimed there was all powerful, all knowledgeable being...who took the time to plan out every person's life, and who would come down out of the heavens to FIX your life (that he had presumably already planned out) if you asked and believed hard enough. If he (and how could such an awesome being be pigeon-holed into one gender anyway?) was so great, why did he have to interfere with his creation? And why would he grant prayers for things as petty as bicycles and trips to Disneyland when there were people who were supposedly his beloved children suffering? What sort of person/being/thing could watch that?

It just did not seem right.

And all through school I heard about the founding fathers being deist. And how that time was the great AGE OF REASON. And I got curious. So I did some searching. (Trufax: I was almost wiccan.)

And suddenly everything just made sense. I'm not saying I had this great revelation, an eureka moment, or that fireworks went off...but through my research into the various beliefs I learned more about myself and what I felt was right. My whole life it was always Christian, Jewish, Muslim, pagan. Four faiths. Everything else was dead. But there was so much more. And through my own study, I found things that made sense to me.

God is a Creator. S/he made the Universe and because a divine being created it, it is also divine. S/he put forth whatever energy was necessary to start things spinning, to get things in motion. And s/he is watching over us, all of us. But because this being is so powerful, so knowledgeable, s/he feels no need to go interfering. Because if s/he had wanted to be reaching in and changing things, s/he wouldn't have given its creation the ability to evolve and change on its own.

I believe as things that have evolved from this divine Universe, we are also divine. We manifest the power of the creator as we pursue our own education and individuality. I believe that being omnipotent, this creator is not harmed, nor does s/he care about, our actions and words. It is up to each of us to police ourselves in our actions. In that way, we create our own heaven or hell here on earth. And when we die, our bodies decompose and return to the stardust we came from, and that undefinable, intangible spark that makes each person unique returns to the Universe. We don't have a place waiting for us with pearly gates of fires of damnation...just a return to whatever it was that we came from.

Just because I don't believe any of us should expect saints and harps when we die, doesn't mean you just fade into nothingness. You will live on in the memories of the people who cared about you. And I believe that is the only sort of eternal life that anyone should want. I hope that one day you can find the answers you want.

(Ugh, that sounds preachy. Sorry, I swear I didn't mean for it to sound that way.)