Stop it. Freeze. Whatever you're doing--don't do it anymore. Just pause for a second, 'kay? Don't click onto YouTube or MySpace or whatever else you usually do at a time like this. Just stop moving your hand for a moment, alright? Don't type in that familiar URL and don't click on that link in your bookmarks or favorites or whatever it is you call them. Just stop.

Look at yourself. What are you doing? What are you wasting A) yourself, and B) your time, on? Is it really worth it? Do you really want to do that? Is that really what you desire? Or, are you (like me) just doing it out of habit to make for the fact that you are not doing something else. Something meaningful. Something useful. Something constructive. Something helpful. Just...something.

Well stop it.

It's wasteful--it's no good for you. Why are you doing something so destructive? Oh, sure...it may seem like no big deal now. It's just a few minutes, you reason. What harm can it do to myself or the universe? Everything! cries I. It is harming everything. Just take all of those few minutes you spend pointlessly clicking each day, each week, each month even! Add that up now. Yes, I'm being serious. Do it now.

Well? Have you got an answer for me? No, you weren't actually doing it--now were you? Well here, let me crunch some numbers for you.

Let's start with 30 minutes each day spent pointlessly clicking (15 in the morning and 15 before bed):

• (30 minutes/day) x (7 days) = 210 minutes/week
• (210 minutes/week) x (52 weeks/year) = 10920 minutes/year
• 210 minutes/week = 3.5 hours/week
• 10920 minutes/year = 182 hours/year
• 182 hours/year = 7.563333... days/year

...That's one whole week wasted per year! And, if you're anything like me, you're probably spending more than 30 minutes a day right now just clicking around because you are bored.

So? So what? What does this have to do with me? Why do I care?

Well, at this point, you probably don't. And neither did I until about a few minutes ago when I decided to write this. I was just poking around the internet, killing time because I was bored. I had just finished vaguely considering the possibility of me maybe starting to write something perhaps sometime in the near future. (For the record, at the time I decided against it.) I then went to go browse about YouTube to see what was on. Well, I almost did anyway. I opened up the new tab in Flock, typed in the URL, and was fixing to search for some Harley Quinn/Mistah J love when I stopped myself. I closed that tab, and I opened up Notepad.

What was I doing? Why was I wasting this time? I had so many other things I wanted--and needed--to do. I still have laundry to finish. I need to clear off my bed so there is room for me to sleep in there tonight. I have to be up super early tomorrow for work. I need to pick up my folded clothes from on top of the dryer. I have idea upon idea upon inspiration upon plot bunny of things I want to write about. I'm kind of hungry. What on earth am I doing clicking around YouTube for?

It's kind of pointless now, I realize. All of this time I've had on my hands this summer--and what have I done with it? Not even half of what I planned to. Oh sure, I've accomplished some things--I've picked up a few things in my room (just to throw them back where they were), and I've done some (but not all) of my laundry. I've worked more hours, just as I had been wanting to. I'm taking an online class. I'm writing. But that's not all that I wanted to do. I wanted to completely redo my room. I wanted to clear out the clutter, donate a good chunk of my wardrobe to charity (because the universe knows I don't need nearly that much clothing!), flit about town bestowing acts of random kindness onto strangers (although, with rising gas prices, that's kind of been out of my control), learn Klingon, visit several museums, plan more meet ups, have a killer joint birthday bash with my Ben. All of these are things that I want to do. Some of them are things I need to do. But I've idled away my time--and for what?

I've read fanfiction, discovered new manga, watched several 80's cartoons via YouTube, and acquainted myself with a new web browser--but did I really want to do any of that? I mean, sure...I had figured I would do some of those things--but I certainly had not planned on doing them in such high volume!

It's quite disappointing, actually. I had such high hopes and expectations for this summer. I'm sure many of us did. But how many of us actually managed to stick with that plan and go through with everything we wanted? How many of us have allowed these things fall to the side for whatever reason.

With each thing that we promise ourselves that we'll do, but then do not accomplish, we attack ourselves. We wound ourselves. And who wants to go about spending his or her summer causing undue harm to him- or herself? Wounded things do not fly. It is beyond their capabilities. At first, they may be able to keep up with the flock--just barely--but eventually, they fall behind and then wither and return to the earth. Each time we fail to accomplish these things that we have promised ourselves will happen, we hurt ourselves. For every, "I'll do this in an hour," or "Just let me finish this then...," or "I can always do it tomorrow..." we tear at ourselves. It is not apparent at first--but just because you do not notice a thing happening, doesn't mean that it hasn't happened. It has happened. It has affected you. It has changed you. But was it for the better?

Of all the things in this world that we cannot control that can harm us--other people, their actions and inactions, events in the world, reactions to you--nothing harms us as much as a failed promise to ourselves. It hurts. We don't even realize it, but it hurts. And that sort of damage is the hardest to overcome.

How many times have you told yourself that you will clean your room tomorrow? Do your laundry tomorrow? Start eating healthier tomorrow? Go back to school tomorrow? Get a better outlook on yourself tomorrow? Reach out to that person who has recently pulled away from you tomorrow? All of these things, all of these little "tomorrows" have added up and they have come back to bite you in the form of karma. Now, after giving yourself so many little "tomorrows," you have lost faith in yourself, because you are not doing anything now. And if you are not doing anything now, then you are doing nothing.

Carpe diem--seize the day. Live for the moment. Many people interpret this as meaning, "Do what you want, when you want, with no regrets," but I believe a better way of interpreting it is "seize the day" (I know, tres original!). Seriously, think about it. Seize the day. Take hold of the day. Take possession of the day. Take advantage of the day. The day is here; it is now. Why not grab hold of it and do something with it?

You are alive. You are a creature of glitter and light. No star shines as brightly as you do. Why should you settle for simply wiling away the hours seated in front of a glowing computer screen? There is no glory in that. Make a to do list. Every time you are tempted to just "surf" do the thing at the top of the list. Cross it off. Do the next thing. And the next. The next time you are bored, do another thing on that list. Soon, you will have accomplished all of those little things...all of those little "tomorrows" are now "todays."

Oh, so you don't have anything planned. Nothing to do, nothing pressing, no responsibilities or requirements of you. Good for you! (Share the love with me!) Make a list of all the things you want to do--regardless of how ridiculous. Okay, so maybe you haven't had the chance to save up for a trip to the Czech Republic. Check out the yellow pages (or, hello! Google.) and find a Czech restaurant in your area. Go. Eat. Check it off your list.

You're kidding--right? You haven't got anything you have to do, nor anything you want to do? You must be an amoeba. Regardless, even amoeba kind of muddle about in their little amoeba-like world. Get dressed. Leave your house. Go for a walk. Go for a drive. Trust me--you'll find something that will catch your interest. Even if you don't, a change of pace and scenery will be empowering to you. Don't believe me? Only one way to find out if I'm pulling your leg--do it. Experience it for yourself. Tell me if I'm wrong, and I'll buy you dinner.

But don't just go out--go out in style! (or, stay in and do chores in style.) Dress yourself up. Wear that old prom dress that only got one use. Throw on that spurt-of-the-moment, impulse-buy cocktail dress. Wear your dressiest heels. Put your hair up. Let it down. Turn the music up loud (or soft--whatever does you!). Wiggle your hips. Sing into a hairbrush. Pretend your in the middle of a glamorous magazine shoot that's capturing fabulous beauties (that would be you) doing boring, mundane things. Obviously, for the magazine to sell, you've got to find some way to make it look fun. Draw a fake and insanely over-exaggerated mustache on your face in eyeliner and wear a suspiciously large hat to go to the grocery store. Strike a pose as you pump your gas. In between wash cycles dance around in your underwear (you are doing laundry!). Go crazy. Remember--this is your life. You are not going to waste it. You are much to fabulous for that.

Whatever you do, be it take action and control or click back to 4-chan, be fierce. Be true. Do it because you want to do. Do it because you need to do it. Whatever you do it for, don't do it just to be doing something. There is a whole world out there and it was created for you to take enjoyment from.

And remember, you are amazing.

Written kind of as a pep talk for myself, but I figured y'all might get some use out of it as well. :)