We all want things. If you're like me, you want a lot of things. But the key question here is: How do we get those things?

Well, I take the lawyer-route and argue my way to something. (I know, weird strategy for someone who hates confrontation.)

Here's how I win arguments:


♦ First, make sure you're calm. Otherwise, you'll just come off as a crazy. By entering into confrontation with a serene mind-set, you'll be able to quickly analyze and assess the other person's arguments effectively. Your own arguments will also come of with a sense of clarity and strength.

♦ Make sure that you have counter-arguments to your own points thought up. It'll help you deflect their attacks, if you can anticipate what they'll say next.

♦ Keep an open mind, a good argument is one that can adapt and a good debater is one who is willing to compromise in order to keep the peace.

♦ Start off with something along the lines of, "I know you probably feel that..." "In the past I realize that [I / you / you and I]..." "I understand that..." etc. It'll show that you respect their point of view from the get go.

♦ Include phrases such as those listed above during your argument as well, it'll show that you are aware of the mindset of your opponent and that is the best way to get him/her on your side--showing that you can see things from their perspective.

♦ Have valid arguments. Don't just use "because" or "I think I deserve it." List the why and the how and back everything up with something that the other person will respect. They'll be more likely to concede to your way of seeing things.

♦ Be prepared to compromise. We don't always get what we ask for, and sometimes we've just got to go with what we can get. This is not setting yourself up for defeat! It's just accepting that you may not get EVERYTHING you want. Be prepared to say, "It's fine with me that you want __________. But I think it's only fair that in return I get ____________." And the key thing to remember when it comes to compromising? Equivalent exchange. You give, they give, and in the end, the giving on both ends equals out to be as close to the same on either side as you can get.

♦ Wear a snazzy outfit. Because if you're going to lose, you better look good while doing it. ;)


* Against Someone Enlightened who is Willing to hear your Part.