I need to scale back on the Star Trek. Especially Voyager. I'm starting to relate everything back to it. I'm not saying that's bad or anything...but when you're reading a book or having a conversation and end up thinking, "Well, hey...that reminds me of this episode in Star Trek where blah blah blah..." every few minutes, liking something has jumped the border into an obsessive landscape.

I don't even watch it as much as I used to, is the sad thing. But maybe that's what's causing it? Maybe this is some weird form of withdrawal?

And no....I'm not going to "give up" on Star Trek. I like. Hell, I LOVE IT. But the difference between a "normal" person and the person playing Dungeons and Dragons in his parent's basement at 40 is the ability to differentiate and keep a balance between a well-loved hobby and IRL stuff and not allow the hobby to overtake his/her mind so that there is room in there for other things.

I've always been a well-balanced (or so I like to think, lol) person and I'd hate to take a dive off of the "oh she's a quirky one" platform into the ocean of "why is that woman wearing elf ears to her job interview?" Especially since I don't know how to swim.

Lol...I can't take a break from Star Trek, and there is nothing wrong with constantly being reminded of your favorite fandom (*cough*sarahonepiece*cough*), but....idk. It's out of character for me to be that way. Even if something's been my absolute favorite, I've never really been big on the "OMG that SO reminds me of this one episode where blah blah blah...." ...Y'know? It's not that I don't have those moments every once and while, but it has never been constantly like this.

I think it's because of the problems I've been having with several friends lately. They all kind of hated Star Trek and could not understand why I loved it so much. So after getting sick of dealing with their drama, maybe I made a choice, myself or them, and this is my way of saying "I embrace who I am."

?

Idk.

And yeah, I'm just rambling at this point, but does it honestly take almost an hour for coffee to kick in and start working? I mean, I drink it to wake me up. If I wanted a warm beverage in the morning just for kicks, I'd have hot chocolate. But coffee has function and I want to know why it isn't functioning now....

Ugh....and my allergies are killing me to. I'm going to be so out of it tonight, I won't get any of Eddie Izzard's jokes!

I want to flesh out DMMG and Alan on some character sheets, so I can have everything written down and "official," but I can't really bring myself to do it. It's not that I don't want to, because I really do, it's just that it's hard to justify taking the time to write on paper everything that I have up in my head already. It seems like such a waste of time. I mean, maybe if they weren't so firmly established in "me ole noggin," but they are.... But I really do need to write it all down because that will help to clean things up and it would definitely make rewriting my Screnzy easier.

Blech....I hate doing tedious things.

And I really want to play my violin right now, but my grandmother's here and I've kind of made it a habit of mine to only play when I'm home alone. I just....I've gotten really sick of people saying, "Oh but you used to be so good...." So what? Are you saying I'm bad? Just because I'd rather do other things than practice for 2+ hours a day now? So sorry if I've disappointed you by deciding I wanted a life outside of a HUNK OF WOOD. Even if that hunk of wood is very near and dear to my heart. Lol....I named "him" Woody. XD And my bow is "Stringy."

Which reminds me of a dream I had a few nights ago.

I was home alone and about to practice my violin, so I went and brought my stand out. But when I opened my violin case, it was empty! So when my mom came home I asked her wtf happened to my violin and she told me that she had had to pawn it since we were so low on cash. Except that she hadn't gotten enough, and she had just been told we lost the house. And she told me it was my fault because I didn't play my violin as much anymore. So then we had to move and I had to sell all of my lolita and books (I have a large bookcase, half a closet, and about ten boxes worth of books!) and cd's (I have over 200!!!) to help out the family, but my brother got to keep all of his stuff. Geez....even in my dreams he gets more privileges than I do. And you know why I had to sell my stuff and he got to keep his? Because (and this is what my mom and everyone else in my dream kept saying) I was "the more responsible one."

WTF?!?!!?

I need to buy more Alanis Morissette cd's. She was my favorite for so long, and now I'm really beginning to fall back in love with her.