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The Good Thing is...The Bad Thing is...
Have you ever played that game--the one where one person will say, "The good thing is _____" and the next will say "The bad thing is ________" and the next will continue with "The good thing is ______" and so on and so forth? Well, here's my version of it:
The good thing is the roach residing in my room that was previously mentioned is dead.
The bad thing is that all roaches kind of look the same so I don't know if that's actually the one I saw.
The good thing is that it is most likely the previously mentioned roach.
The bad thing is if it isn't, then I've got an infestation.
The good thing is I'm not really very sick anymore.
The bad thing is because I got sick, I've had to prolong taking my driver's test, so I still don't have my license.
The good thing is I'm looking forward to starting my classes at North Harris.
The bad thing is all of my friends are going away (save for three or so) and are acting like I'm going to have absolutely nothing to adjust to when, in fact, I'm going to have a lot to get used to and it's just as hard on me that they're leaving as it is on them.
The good thing is I soon won't have to deal with that shit anymore because most of them will be gone.
The bad thing is I'm going to be faced with a barrage of memories of us together and am going to miss them despite how screwed up their way of thinking is.
The good thing is I don't have to worry about packing or moving out.
The bad thing is I have to deal with everyone complaining that they don't have enough time to pack when, in fact, they have had all summer to do so.
The good thing is I'm understanding, so I know that they really just put it because they were probably overwhelmed and scared at the fact that they were leaving for the first time ever and so they procrastinated like wildfire.
The bad thing is that still doesn't mean that I want to hear about because I am, in fact, a bitch at heart.
The good thing is I was able to see Alex yesterday at Wal*Mart.
The bad thing is I looked completely gross because I hadn't been expecting to see anyone there (which, means I'm quite stupid).
The good thing is I'm glad all of my friends have been able to get into good schools and that they are starting a new phase of their lives.
The bad thing is I feel left out and left behind because I am not leaving myself.
Haha...but speaking of Alex, every time I see him I think of that Regina Spektor song "Samson" and that makes me think of the Plain White T's song "Hey there Delilah" and then that makes me think about Alex and some random rocker-chick girlfriend that he apparently has in my head singing those songs to each other. And then I laugh out loud and everyone stares at me weirdly..... ^_^;
My air conditioner is fixed, so that's good.
I'm going to miss all of the people leaving, so that's bad.
And, (ugh) I start my classes on Monday. Blech. I don't want to go back to school, I just want to stay home and not do anything. But, on the bright side, I have an interview at the college tomorrow for a job. :D Which is very good because I need to start working again (which, in itself, is BAD because I have gotten very lazy and bum-like over the summer).
Haha...I saw the second Death Note movie, accidentally thinking it was the first. I felt really stupid after the fact, but I did like it.
Also, I very much enjoyed watching Voyager yesterday. I got to see "Someone to watch over me" and I love the part in it where Seven of Nine and the Doctor sing. It always makes me smile. :D
Also, I am paying for my two straight days of eating nothing but junk food as I have had an ache-y stomach for the past few days. It's just been hurting constantly, that's it. I kind of wish that I'd just throw it all up or have it all leave the other way (you know, the toilet way) just so I could feel better. I've been eating a lot of crackers and stuff though, so I feel MUCH better than I did yesterday.
Also, yesterday was super tea day because I had some oregano tea and then two helpings of ginger root tea.
Also, I really don't feel 18 yet. I feel like I'm still 13, like I always will be.
On Monday I went to Chicken and Egg Roll with Keri and Beth/![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
naive_wanderer. After that, we went and hung out at the Alabama Book Stop and the Village. It was really fun. I decided that whenever the two of them are next in town together, we need to have a repeat of that day.
At the Alabama Book Stop, I was so mad because I noticed that they had the first volume of Hoshin Engi, which I have been waiting to read since, like, eighth grade. And, here is the sad part, I DIDN'T BUY IT because I DIDN'T KNOW I HAD ENOUGH MONEY IN MY CHECKING ACCOUNT TO DO SO. *death* And now I am very sad.
Ah, but then we went to Rice Village and stopped by Chloe Dao's store, Lot 8. Of course, we couldn't afford anything there, but it was really cool to just be in there. :D All of the clothes were really pretty and being in there made me miss watching Project Runway all over again. T_T
Then we skipped (not literally) down to the candy shop and Baskin Robins. I got the chocolate fudge ice cream and (Oh. Mah. Gawd.) it was SOOOOO rich and decadent, I thought I was going to DIE. Like, seriously, it was THAT good.
Meh, but then we went home. Except we got lost. Kinda. We just got on the HOV lane going the wrong way. After we realized what we had done, we were able to turn around quite easily and drive home. We got back fairly quickly, considering that we were driving in the middle of rush hour traffic.
I had fun. I don't get to see anyone that much lately. I've always joked about being a hermit during the summer, but I think I really did fulfill that this year (although it wasn't quite by choice). It makes me kind of sad, really.
I don't know...I just...I feel so let down and disappointed over this summer. I had thought that there would be much more to it. I guess I kind of miss the "old days" when my brother and I were children and still got along. I miss the summers of middle school when Ben and I would go and see several movies a week. I miss the summer after ninth grade when we would all WALK to Sonic (because none of us could drive) and then played hide and seek on Beth and Rob's street. Thinking back on those days, just makes me realize how far I've been pulled/pushed from the people I used to spend all of my time with, and it makes me realize how lonely I feel because of it.
I don't think I want to repeat this summer ever again. I really do think that I want to make this year different. I want to do well in school, not just barely scrape by on my well-practiced B.S. I want to make some really good friends, people who will invite me out every week, that I can make some kind of ritual with. People who don't make me feel unwanted or like some unwarranted kind of odd-numbered wheel. I want to actually make a connection with people again. I kind of pulled away from everyone when my dad died, and I think that it's made these past few years much harder on me. I think that if I had been able to make a real connection with the people around me, I wouldn't have felt so bad when I needed something from them; I think they would have been comfortable being there for me and that I wouldn't have felt so un-included. I just...it seems as if I'm only realizing just how far I pulled away from people. I guess that it just wasn't as blatantly obvious to me until all of the emotional "senior" moments occurred.
I want to make this next year different. I want to honestly change. I just...I don't think I know how. I'm stuck in my ways, I guess, and that makes it hard to grow.
The good thing is the roach residing in my room that was previously mentioned is dead.
The bad thing is that all roaches kind of look the same so I don't know if that's actually the one I saw.
The good thing is that it is most likely the previously mentioned roach.
The bad thing is if it isn't, then I've got an infestation.
The good thing is I'm not really very sick anymore.
The bad thing is because I got sick, I've had to prolong taking my driver's test, so I still don't have my license.
The good thing is I'm looking forward to starting my classes at North Harris.
The bad thing is all of my friends are going away (save for three or so) and are acting like I'm going to have absolutely nothing to adjust to when, in fact, I'm going to have a lot to get used to and it's just as hard on me that they're leaving as it is on them.
The good thing is I soon won't have to deal with that shit anymore because most of them will be gone.
The bad thing is I'm going to be faced with a barrage of memories of us together and am going to miss them despite how screwed up their way of thinking is.
The good thing is I don't have to worry about packing or moving out.
The bad thing is I have to deal with everyone complaining that they don't have enough time to pack when, in fact, they have had all summer to do so.
The good thing is I'm understanding, so I know that they really just put it because they were probably overwhelmed and scared at the fact that they were leaving for the first time ever and so they procrastinated like wildfire.
The bad thing is that still doesn't mean that I want to hear about because I am, in fact, a bitch at heart.
The good thing is I was able to see Alex yesterday at Wal*Mart.
The bad thing is I looked completely gross because I hadn't been expecting to see anyone there (which, means I'm quite stupid).
The good thing is I'm glad all of my friends have been able to get into good schools and that they are starting a new phase of their lives.
The bad thing is I feel left out and left behind because I am not leaving myself.
Haha...but speaking of Alex, every time I see him I think of that Regina Spektor song "Samson" and that makes me think of the Plain White T's song "Hey there Delilah" and then that makes me think about Alex and some random rocker-chick girlfriend that he apparently has in my head singing those songs to each other. And then I laugh out loud and everyone stares at me weirdly..... ^_^;
My air conditioner is fixed, so that's good.
I'm going to miss all of the people leaving, so that's bad.
And, (ugh) I start my classes on Monday. Blech. I don't want to go back to school, I just want to stay home and not do anything. But, on the bright side, I have an interview at the college tomorrow for a job. :D Which is very good because I need to start working again (which, in itself, is BAD because I have gotten very lazy and bum-like over the summer).
Haha...I saw the second Death Note movie, accidentally thinking it was the first. I felt really stupid after the fact, but I did like it.
Also, I very much enjoyed watching Voyager yesterday. I got to see "Someone to watch over me" and I love the part in it where Seven of Nine and the Doctor sing. It always makes me smile. :D
Also, I am paying for my two straight days of eating nothing but junk food as I have had an ache-y stomach for the past few days. It's just been hurting constantly, that's it. I kind of wish that I'd just throw it all up or have it all leave the other way (you know, the toilet way) just so I could feel better. I've been eating a lot of crackers and stuff though, so I feel MUCH better than I did yesterday.
Also, yesterday was super tea day because I had some oregano tea and then two helpings of ginger root tea.
Also, I really don't feel 18 yet. I feel like I'm still 13, like I always will be.
On Monday I went to Chicken and Egg Roll with Keri and Beth/
naive_wanderer. After that, we went and hung out at the Alabama Book Stop and the Village. It was really fun. I decided that whenever the two of them are next in town together, we need to have a repeat of that day.At the Alabama Book Stop, I was so mad because I noticed that they had the first volume of Hoshin Engi, which I have been waiting to read since, like, eighth grade. And, here is the sad part, I DIDN'T BUY IT because I DIDN'T KNOW I HAD ENOUGH MONEY IN MY CHECKING ACCOUNT TO DO SO. *death* And now I am very sad.
Ah, but then we went to Rice Village and stopped by Chloe Dao's store, Lot 8. Of course, we couldn't afford anything there, but it was really cool to just be in there. :D All of the clothes were really pretty and being in there made me miss watching Project Runway all over again. T_T
Then we skipped (not literally) down to the candy shop and Baskin Robins. I got the chocolate fudge ice cream and (Oh. Mah. Gawd.) it was SOOOOO rich and decadent, I thought I was going to DIE. Like, seriously, it was THAT good.
Meh, but then we went home. Except we got lost. Kinda. We just got on the HOV lane going the wrong way. After we realized what we had done, we were able to turn around quite easily and drive home. We got back fairly quickly, considering that we were driving in the middle of rush hour traffic.
I had fun. I don't get to see anyone that much lately. I've always joked about being a hermit during the summer, but I think I really did fulfill that this year (although it wasn't quite by choice). It makes me kind of sad, really.
I don't know...I just...I feel so let down and disappointed over this summer. I had thought that there would be much more to it. I guess I kind of miss the "old days" when my brother and I were children and still got along. I miss the summers of middle school when Ben and I would go and see several movies a week. I miss the summer after ninth grade when we would all WALK to Sonic (because none of us could drive) and then played hide and seek on Beth and Rob's street. Thinking back on those days, just makes me realize how far I've been pulled/pushed from the people I used to spend all of my time with, and it makes me realize how lonely I feel because of it.
I don't think I want to repeat this summer ever again. I really do think that I want to make this year different. I want to do well in school, not just barely scrape by on my well-practiced B.S. I want to make some really good friends, people who will invite me out every week, that I can make some kind of ritual with. People who don't make me feel unwanted or like some unwarranted kind of odd-numbered wheel. I want to actually make a connection with people again. I kind of pulled away from everyone when my dad died, and I think that it's made these past few years much harder on me. I think that if I had been able to make a real connection with the people around me, I wouldn't have felt so bad when I needed something from them; I think they would have been comfortable being there for me and that I wouldn't have felt so un-included. I just...it seems as if I'm only realizing just how far I pulled away from people. I guess that it just wasn't as blatantly obvious to me until all of the emotional "senior" moments occurred.
I want to make this next year different. I want to honestly change. I just...I don't think I know how. I'm stuck in my ways, I guess, and that makes it hard to grow.