Musings.....

[emmyette]

My mouse pad thing on my laptop is being retarded....for some reason, my mouse cursor thing (can you tell how technical I am?) is jumping around and sitting in the various corners of my screen and not moving. I try to move it, and it just jumps back. ...Not sure if I'm describing this well, but I was just wondering if this is normal or something.

Good weekend. Kinda. Friday was really disappointing. I don't know what I was thinking, that after a bit of time, things would be somehow different. It still felt the same...like I was having to fight for attention because they all had their little inside jokes and closeness and I was just uninvited. But I've always felt like that, kind of like an intruder. I guess I was hoping it would be different, but I was just fooling myself. I surprised myself...it didn't actually bother me as much as I wanted it to. (?) I feel right at home at NHC...I don't mind butting into conversations and I feel welcome. I guess it's just kind of sad that I can feel so comfortable with a bunch of people I've never seen before when I don't with some life-long friends. :\

Saturday was good. I had missed my Sophie. I wasn't feeling well, but what's new? My sinuses were bothering me and I was really out of it, so I'm worried I wasn't much fun. But I loved seeing her. I bought her a smoothie and I was able to get some books from Half-Price Books. It was really nice to see her. I got a blouse from Target...one of the Alice Temperly for Target things. It's really grand.

Today I just took it easy because I coughed up some yellow-colored mucus early this morning when I woke up. That's a sign that there's some kind of infection in my body (yay for actually learning something from my constant illnesses!) and I don't want to get horribly sick now, what with me starting at Party City tomorrow and all.

Oh gawd. I am looking so forward to voting this year. I have no idea why, I was just struck with this insane "OMG I wanna vote NOW" mood a while back. Other things I'm looking forward to: 1) Extras, omg! 2) getting my issue of La Vie en Rose 3) Party City 4) seeing the Lucy's Legacy exhibit at the museum 5) seeing the re-designed Cockrell Butterfly Center 6) Christmas break and seeing EVERYONE 7) Oni-Con.

Aaaaahhh....love my dearies, infinite and un-ending love towards all of you. I'm looking so forward to this week--it's going to be hectic, but it will be a nice change to be insanely busy for once.

Meh...but Sophie didn't call me when she left like she promised. :( But whatever....I don't feel like being angry right now.




love love love love love love love love love

Love by ~Shachiel on deviantART

"Love seems to be something to approach with caution, as if you'd come across a wrapped box in the middle of the street and have no idea what it contains. A bomb, maybe. Or a million dollars."
-Deb Caletti, Wild Roses

I've got love on the mind. That doesn't mean I want to fall in love, I'm just in a love-filled and inspired mood. I want to see it in the world around me, but I don't want to experience it. I think I'm burned...I'm worried I'm going to shy away from it because of what happened when I first fell in love. I loved him and he hurt me. A lot. I'm just not ready to fall head-over-heels myself yet. But I wouldn't mind seeing it. The world needs more love.

Wouldn't want to... by *girltripped on deviantART

Hate Love? Love Hate? by *chrometourmaline on deviantART

Sadly, the two go hand in hand...