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Not Happy......
Ugh. My grandmother is here. What a way to ruin my personal Loliday. I've never felt comfortable with her, and I think it's safe to say (regardless of how cold-hearted it may sound) that I don't think I love her. It's nothing that can be helped. I just can't deal with what my mother calls "cultural differences caused by a language barrier." Whatever. You don't tell a kid after her father's died that she needs to not be sad because her mother needs her to step up and take care of things. I don't see how that can be considered okay at any time.
And I am completely sick of her trying to "hint" (as if! Can she be any more blatant?!) that I need to get married. Fuck that. Mr.Right (and Mr. Right Now, for that matter) doesn't seem to exist at this present moment. I'm not going to settle down and just start popping out babies to please HER of all people!!!
I wanted to celebrate Loliday today since I didn't get a chance to on Saturday, and instead it seems like I'll be sitting at home, listening to her fucking novellas.
She walks in, and she says I look like a "dolly." WHAT. I am eighteen years old and you can't even say that I'm at least "pretty"?! Being a dolly is alright if your...what, a newborn (maybe) but not after you are six, and certainly not once you are in college. Even when I dress in lolita, I get fucking pissed off when people say I look like a doll, even though it's actually TRUE!!!
I want my Loliday. I don't want to have to deal with this woman invading my house. My first day off in a bout a week and I can't even do anything productive with it because I have to stay home and be available to tell her how to work the microwave--EVEN THOUGH WE HAVE HAD THE SAME ONE FOR TEN YEARS NOW--because she doesn't know how to push a few buttons. D< I thought I was going to return my library books, run to the bank, check and see if the tea house in Humble was still up and running. Nope. Because I have to stay and essentially babysit (sans pay!!). OH OUT IT'S OKAY FOR MY BROTHER TO HAVE HIS GIRLFRIEND OVER, because "he wouldn't have been sociable with Grandma anyways."
Oh, but of course, there is the option to take her around with me on a day that I had been looking forward to spending ALONE since I have been with people all week and that stresses me out (I am seriously not as sociable as you think I am. I break out whenever I know I'm going to be in a group of over two people!). But she wanders around and her English gets worse and worse every time she visits. I just can't deal with having to repeat myself twenty times just to get across to her, "We need to leave now because I have other places I have to stop by." :\
I believe Travis has forgotten we're supposed to see Eddie Izzard on Wednesday. I'm going to call him tomorrow night to ask him what time he wants me to pick him up, and if he's scheduled to work Wednesday night or has made other plans, I'm going to take Beth or, if she's unavailable Mark or someone else. It's just fucking ridiculous how he forgets everything. When we were dating, he would regularly just sleep through our dates. Honestly! He's nineteen, not nine!!
I'm just so stressed out right now. I hate dealing with people. I hate dealing with stupid people. I hate dealing with my grandmother. I hate having to constantly listen to her novellas. I hate that my brother gets extra privileges simply because he doesn't bother to take responsibility in the first place. I hate that I'm stuck at home and I have so much to do. I hate that I'm not going to get a Loliday. I hate that I don't have a boyfriend. I hate that I have to work so much. I hate that I don't ever have enough money.
I'm just a hateful person!! I don't get why people think I'm so nice!!! I just usually don't bother telling them how much they piss me off. D<
TO TOP IT ALL OFF, I WAS GOING TO PICK UP SOME BLUEBERRY MUFFINS FROM H-E-B BUT I CAN'T NOW AND I REALLY THINK THAT A BLUEBERRY MUFFIN FROM H-E-B WOULD INSTANTLY MAKE ME A BIT MORE AGREEABLE!!
Oh, and the economy sucks. :[
And I am completely sick of her trying to "hint" (as if! Can she be any more blatant?!) that I need to get married. Fuck that. Mr.Right (and Mr. Right Now, for that matter) doesn't seem to exist at this present moment. I'm not going to settle down and just start popping out babies to please HER of all people!!!
I wanted to celebrate Loliday today since I didn't get a chance to on Saturday, and instead it seems like I'll be sitting at home, listening to her fucking novellas.
She walks in, and she says I look like a "dolly." WHAT. I am eighteen years old and you can't even say that I'm at least "pretty"?! Being a dolly is alright if your...what, a newborn (maybe) but not after you are six, and certainly not once you are in college. Even when I dress in lolita, I get fucking pissed off when people say I look like a doll, even though it's actually TRUE!!!
I want my Loliday. I don't want to have to deal with this woman invading my house. My first day off in a bout a week and I can't even do anything productive with it because I have to stay home and be available to tell her how to work the microwave--EVEN THOUGH WE HAVE HAD THE SAME ONE FOR TEN YEARS NOW--because she doesn't know how to push a few buttons. D< I thought I was going to return my library books, run to the bank, check and see if the tea house in Humble was still up and running. Nope. Because I have to stay and essentially babysit (sans pay!!). OH OUT IT'S OKAY FOR MY BROTHER TO HAVE HIS GIRLFRIEND OVER, because "he wouldn't have been sociable with Grandma anyways."
Oh, but of course, there is the option to take her around with me on a day that I had been looking forward to spending ALONE since I have been with people all week and that stresses me out (I am seriously not as sociable as you think I am. I break out whenever I know I'm going to be in a group of over two people!). But she wanders around and her English gets worse and worse every time she visits. I just can't deal with having to repeat myself twenty times just to get across to her, "We need to leave now because I have other places I have to stop by." :\
I believe Travis has forgotten we're supposed to see Eddie Izzard on Wednesday. I'm going to call him tomorrow night to ask him what time he wants me to pick him up, and if he's scheduled to work Wednesday night or has made other plans, I'm going to take Beth or, if she's unavailable Mark or someone else. It's just fucking ridiculous how he forgets everything. When we were dating, he would regularly just sleep through our dates. Honestly! He's nineteen, not nine!!
I'm just so stressed out right now. I hate dealing with people. I hate dealing with stupid people. I hate dealing with my grandmother. I hate having to constantly listen to her novellas. I hate that my brother gets extra privileges simply because he doesn't bother to take responsibility in the first place. I hate that I'm stuck at home and I have so much to do. I hate that I'm not going to get a Loliday. I hate that I don't have a boyfriend. I hate that I have to work so much. I hate that I don't ever have enough money.
I'm just a hateful person!! I don't get why people think I'm so nice!!! I just usually don't bother telling them how much they piss me off. D<
TO TOP IT ALL OFF, I WAS GOING TO PICK UP SOME BLUEBERRY MUFFINS FROM H-E-B BUT I CAN'T NOW AND I REALLY THINK THAT A BLUEBERRY MUFFIN FROM H-E-B WOULD INSTANTLY MAKE ME A BIT MORE AGREEABLE!!
Oh, and the economy sucks. :[