Normal is...
not being able to breathe • stiff, achy joints • cramps that make me feel like I constantly have to take a shit • not being able to get more than a foot and a half off the ground without feeling sick to my stomach • having trouble parking and driving because I have bad eyes • having difficulty talking on the phone • having anxiety every time I go out • being paralyzed by thunderstorms and the dark • not being able to enjoy the taste of alcohol • not liking cheese • having wide feet • having a lot of hair • being a coward • not knowing how to say "no"

I know that some of you have been through traumatic things in your pasts. Things that make you unable to trust your own head. Things that leave you doubting your every action. Things that leave you full of self-doubt. I know some of you are so paranoid that you lay awake at night, questioning things that everyone else seems to be at peace with. I know that many of you struggle with body image and with making your outside match the beautiful person you are on the inside. I know that some of you struggle with self love and self acceptance. I know that a few of you don't or can't pursue a deep and meaningful relationship with your family because of their views or how they see--or don't see--you.

But you're not alone, because so do I.

I had a conversation with a dear friend. A conversation about not wanting to feel broken anymore. I believe there is no set standard for normal that we can all ascribe to. I believe we must each find our own definition of normal. I believe that it's a hard journey and that it is even harder to get help finding that definition.

Normal sucks for a lot of us. Normal means not knowing, not loving, not liking, not trusting. But normal can also ROCK. For some of you, normal means being able to express yourself in visually stunning ways. For others, it means you have an outstanding physical talent. Normal is witty and kind and genius and heartfelt.

And you are that. All of that.

Normal is beautiful. And all of you are beautiful.

For me, normal is:
laughing so hard I snort • knowing how to waltz and fox trot • rescuing hurt birds • nursing sick cats • delicious stir fry • making pies • spending hours on a scrapbook • crocheting • cursing in several languages • knowing how to dress myself • reciting Shakespeare • bitingly brilliant sarcasm • a good sense of direction • tenacity • charm • awesome glasses • generosity • creativity • the knowledge of half the dictionary • bright lipstick • ridiculous enthusiasm • ah-mazing legs • gorgeous hair • straight teeth • no acne • a beautiful neck • dorkery • love love LOVE for you, my darlings ♥
21 February 2010 @ 04:44 pm


Books, comics, [livejournal.com profile] startrek_diary = 28 total

- Scott Westerfeld text
- - Uglies x2
- - Specials x3
- - Extras x3

- [livejournal.com profile] startrek_diary
- - HSAU with Sorting Hat text
- - - Botany Bay Prep/Slytherin x4
- - - Enterprise Academy/Gryffindor x5
- - Spock x1
- DC Comics
- - Power Girl x1
- - Power Girl's cat x6
- - Tiny Titans x1

- Marvel Comics
- - Deadpool x1
- Harry Potter x1

under cut )


Radical Self-Love

1280 x 800
Current Mood: accomplished
09 February 2010 @ 10:12 am
♥ What does RADICAL SELF-LOVE mean to you?

Radical Self-Love means throwing away years of self-doubting and finally embracing ~WHO I AM~ and loving every moment of it.

♥ If you were engaging in RADICAL SELF-LOVE on a daily basis, what would that look like?

Like a beautiful girl with her heart on her sleeve and a heart in her hair wearing pink and offering the world a balloon made of LOVE.

♥ What small piece can you bring into your life TODAY?

I can smile :) Big and proud BB

♥ What qualities or attributes would you bring into your own life via the application of RADICAL SELF-LOVE?

a sense of self-worth
inner beauty
self-love (of course!)

♥ Are the people in your life helping or hindering you in your quest for RADICAL SELF-LOVE? Would you be better off without them?

helping; NO.

♥ How can you reflect RADICAL SELF-LOVE in the way you speak, the way you dress, the way you decorate your house, the work you do?

Decorate SIMPLY

♥ Who could you use as a RADICAL SELF-LOVE role model?

Gala Darling
Jo March
Current Mood: groggy
08 February 2010 @ 12:35 am
I need to go to bed. I have class and kickboxing tomorrow and I won't be home all day. But the longer I stay online talking to people, the longer I feel as if what I'm doing here is worth something, that my existence is valid.

No, I'm not suicidal or dangerously depressed, but I'm not happy with who I am. I'm not happy with where I am. And every moment spent talking with these people who love me and think I am amazing makes me think that maybe one day, this wonderful person they know and myself can finally meet and then we can be one person. I don't know who this amazing girl is, but I want to know her. I really want to know her. Because I lost sight of her some ways back, and I just can't find her. Sometimes I catch glimpses of her, but I've never been able to run up to her and grasp her hand and keep her.

I miss her. I miss the girl that didn't bat an eyelash when she knew what she wanted. I miss the girl that chased after her crushes with wild abandon, never considering rejection. I miss the girl that talked to trees and thought her cats could fly. I miss the girl that wanted to be everything and knew she could be anything. I miss who I used to be when I was a skinned-kneed seven year-old with rubber bands in my hair. When I raced through my small world knowing I would conquer it, not caring if I didn't. Somewhere deep inside of me is that little girl with the pink roller skates who sang out at the top of her lungs while bopping her head with her eyes closed to the fact that she was being watched. Now all I can ever see is the eyes looking at me. I'm conscious of my every action and I want so much to possess that lightness I once had.

I am doing this Radical Self-Love thing with Gala because I miss that girl. And because it's so painful that I have to stop every few sentences in Perfect Girls, Starving Daughters to whisper to myself, 'That's true; that's so true.' I want to love myself. Wholeheartedly. Fully. Unabashedly. Unconditionally. The End. Happily ever after.

Current Mood: sad